In case you haven’t heard me dribble on about it before, I’ve been working out in my garage gym for the past three years. And honestly, I like it. There are many, many benefits in comparison to training in the gym.
But, look. It can get a little boring. Repetitive. And I really missed having someone screaming at me to do better.
Also, the fitness classes! I thrive in fitness classes.
You see, I’m competitive, and I always want to… beat… the person beside me at whatever we’re doing — which makes me push harder.
And I can honestly say, working out alone has really made me miss this.
So, in the interest of switching things up and trying something different, I’ve re-entered the world of gyms.
And after three years, there are a few things I’ve forgotten.
1. Am I dying or is it the pre-workout?
HARD TO SAY. Because I’ve taken a heaped scoop of something classified as ‘Monster something something’, and look, I feel like I’m now travelling into a different dimension and my skin feels like it’s being stung by the force of a thousand bees. And why do my elbows feel swollen??
2. I need to poo.
Between black coffees and pre-workout powder, there’s nothing quite as heartbreaking as turning up to the gym and immediately needing to take a poo. It really, really sucks. Because the toilets. They’re always… too quiet. The cubicles… too close. And there’s approximately never enough sweaty stench in the girl’s bathroom to blanket the scent of too much caffeine.
3. Did I leave my headphones at home?
THE WORST. Realising you’ve forgotten your headphones right when you walk through the doors of the gym is an absolute curse, and there is not a thing comparable to the feeling of rummaging around your gym bag and wondering if you should now just go home. (You should).
Actually, I take that back. There’s also the feeling when your left earbud just… stops working? Because it’s at that very moment when you realise you now have to rely on pure aggression and stamina to get through your workout session — and look, I’m sorry but I’M TOO TIRED.
4. Is it too late to turn around and go home?
Okay, but how many people actually saw me walk in here?
5. Am I just about to watch TV standing up while I slowly move my legs? (Yes).
While I could very well watch TV and stand from home, for some reason I like to go into a crowded room full of sweaty, yell-y gym bros and subtly move my legs while watching a very small screen perpetually set on a loop of breakfast television. I don’t make the rules.
6. What rep am I on?
I’m very good at a lot of things, but especially ‘forgetting’ what rep I’m on and ‘remembering’ it was the last one, and I’m now finished and in the car, on my way home.
7. Is that person waiting on my machine?
11/10 times there’s someone floating around the machine you’re currently using, giving you the are you still using this look, when you’re not even close to finishing your workout, and pls sir. Just let me scroll on my phone for 10 minutes between each set without feeling rushed?? Gah.
8. Am I using this properly?
No matter how many times people tell you that no one is actually looking at you when you’re at the gym, you’re guaranteed to feel every single eye on you when you don’t know how to use a machine properly. This is a fact.
While I’d like to think I know my way around most of the gym equipment, the pure amount of cables, locks and bolts on every machine always manages to keep me humble.
9. Why is it so hard to get a bench?
In peak gym hour time, please don’t even SUGGEST that you would like to work out on a bench. Because apparently, it’s a very silly thing to assume.
And look, I’m not sure what it’s like at other gyms, but at my gym, benches are valuable real estate that are only available between the times of *checks watch* never.
10. How long have I been here?
Does time move… slower at the gym? Scientifically speaking, yes. Yes, it does. It’s proven that every time you think 20 minutes has passed, in gym-time it’s only, like, two minutes?? Rude.
Okay bye, love you, see you at the gym xx
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What are some questions you ask yourself when you walk through the gym? Oh, come on.
Article originally posted on: https://www.mamamia.com.au/going-to-the-gym/