By Motherhood already comes with enough unsolicited opinions. Everyone seems to have something to say about what you feed the kids, how much screen time they get, whether your house is clean enough and, apparently, how much time you spend looking after yourself.
But here’s the thing: you’re allowed to be a human being as well as a mum.
So, in the spirit of giving ourselves a break, here are 10 things you can officially stop feeling guilty about.
1. Ordering takeaway instead of cooking
Some nights, dinner needs to come from a restaurant, not your kitchen.
Maybe you’ve had a huge day. Maybe the fridge is looking suspiciously empty. Maybe you simply cannot face chopping another vegetable. Whatever the reason, ordering takeaway occasionally doesn’t make you a bad mum. It makes you a mum who decided that dinner didn’t need to be another battle.
2. Buying something for yourself
Yes, the kids need shoes. Yes, there are bills to pay. But that doesn’t mean every dollar you spend has to benefit someone under 18.
Buy the dress. Get the nice moisturiser. Replace the handbag you’ve been carrying since 2014. You’re allowed to enjoy your money, too.
3. Letting the kids have extra screen time
Sometimes screens save the day. Perhaps you need to make an important phone call, finish some work or simply drink your coffee while it’s still hot.
One afternoon of extra cartoons isn’t going to undo all your parenting efforts. You don’t need to feel guilty for using technology to get through a particularly chaotic day.
4. Having a messy house
There is a big difference between a home that is genuinely unsafe and a home that looks like children live in it.
Toys on the floor? Fine. Washing waiting to be folded? Normal. A kitchen bench covered in random objects? Welcome to the club.
Your house is for living in, not impressing the neighbours.
5. Saying no to social plans
You don’t have to accept every invitation simply because you were invited.
Sometimes you’re tired. Sometimes the kids have had enough. Sometimes you would rather stay home in your pyjamas. “No, thanks” or “Sorry, we can’t make this one” are complete sentences, and protecting your energy doesn’t make you antisocial.
6. Going away without the kids
Want to go away for a weekend with your partner, friends or even by yourself? Do it.
Missing your kids and enjoying some child-free time can exist at the same time. You can love being their mum and still appreciate a hotel room where nobody asks you for a snack at 6:15am.
7. Not loving every minute of motherhood
You can love your children deeply and still find motherhood exhausting, frustrating, repetitive or downright boring sometimes.
Nobody enjoys every minute of every job, and motherhood is no exception. Having a hard day doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re human.
8. Spending money on convenience
Pre-cut vegetables. Grocery delivery. A cleaner. School lunches that come from a packet. Whatever makes life a little easier.
Convenience isn’t laziness. Sometimes paying for something that saves you time, energy or sanity is money well spent.
9. Needing alone time
Wanting some time where nobody needs anything from you is completely normal.
Go for a walk. Sit in the car. Have a coffee by yourself. Shut the bathroom door and enjoy five uninterrupted minutes.
You don’t need to earn alone time by reaching breaking point first.
10. Choosing yourself sometimes
Perhaps this is the biggest one.
Your children are important, but you matter, too. Your interests, friendships, career, health, hobbies and happiness don’t suddenly become irrelevant because you became a mum.
Choosing yourself occasionally isn’t selfish. In fact, it’s a pretty healthy reminder that you’re a person with a life outside of your parenting role.
Give Yourself a Break, Mom
There will always be someone with an opinion about how you should be parenting. You can’t please everyone, and frankly, you shouldn’t have to try.
So order the takeaway. Buy the thing. Put on another episode. Leave the washing unfolded.
You’re doing a lot. You’re allowed to make life easier, have fun and occasionally put yourself first.
And if anyone has a problem with that? They can fold the washing themselves.